I'm not cut out for this

Ever have those days where you are a complete wreck?

Where everything around you feels like it is going to fall apart,

including yourself?

Well that was my day.

I literally stopped and told myself, I cant do this!

I know I can and I do it daily. 

Today though I just didn't know that I would make it thru.

My almost 2 year old was a terror today. 

I think he woke up saying I am going to make mom's day awful. 

He wouldn't listen to anything I asked. 

He wouldn't eat anything I made for him.

He wouldn't nap at all. 

He cried more than my newborn for no reason.

Or I guess he had many reasons... The light was on. The light was off.

His cup was sitting on the table. His cup was on the floor. 

The dog ate the food he threw on the floor. 

He had food on his plate and wanted it on the floor.

All things that normally aren't a problem but today they were.

Then in the midst of all of this my 7 week old is going thru a 

growth spurt and wanted to nurse ever hour on the hour. 

Be held all day. (Thank God for my sling)

And cried anytime his brother would start crying... So all day.

Day's like today make the thought of Peaceful parenting a far away thought.

Then I find myself asking how do people make this look so easy.

Then I feel horrible thinking that I just can't do this. 

I love being with my boys but days like today would make anyone go a little nuts. 

Then just a few minutes in my quite place with my thoughts and prayers brings

it all back to me. Why I do this. How much Joy it does bring me. 

The cuddles from my toddler before bed as he tells me, 

he loves me!

The beautiful bright babies eyes that look at me with such awe.

The gummy smiles he gives me as he holds tight to me. 

I make it thru these crazy days for them. Because of them. 

and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Even crying and throwing fits. They are beautiful. 

They are my blessing.

Proverbs 31:28

New King James Version (NKJV)

 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

Ashley 

Babies Cry A LOT.

I try with this blog to be relatable. 

Putting things into perspective when sugar coating them just isn't any good.

While I love my boys more than I could ever express with words, 

and they bring me more joy than anything else.

That isn't what this post is going to be about. 

I know how blessed I am and I never for one second doubt that!!

But,

More times than not when people refer to having babies 

it is all about the joy and happiness they bring into your life.

YES this is true. They are simply amazing. 

But most of the time people don't tell you about all the stress and anxiety 

that comes along with it to... 

They don't tell you to establish your support group before you have kids,

because you will need it. 

The truth is kids cry a lot! 

Aside from changing their diaper, feeding them and 

trying to comfort them. 

When this all fails they can't tell you what is wrong with them.

As a momma. It breaks your heart. 

To see your little one upset and not know how to fix it.

More times then not when in this position I have cried with my

 little one completely lost at what exactly to do.

SO we walk the floor, or rock and sing, or bounce

and cry together. 

I know that if it wasn't for my supportive husband who 

is such a help I would feel like I was simply losing my mind sometimes.

None of this makes me a bad mother. It is just a simply fact of having children.

I can imagine as my boys grow older there will be many more tears that I shed.

Completely lost at what I should do. 

The fact is as mothers we want to do what is best for our little's.

We never want them to hurt, cry, be sad, or sick.

I know that I would take any of those things over my boys having to have them.

In life though that isn't an option. So we comfort them. 

Hold them close. Love them and lead them the best we can.

But we also have to learn that we can't do this alone. 

I know that I need my husbands help.

I need other mommy's to talk to about my crazy days.

I occasionally need a break so I can unwind and be the best

 momma I can be for my boys. 

Even though my kiddo's are my world. I can't forget about myself.

If we don't make time for ourselves every now and then 

we get burnt out. Stressed. Overwhelmed. 

Even if this means going to the grocery store by yourself. 

Make time for yourself because no one else will!

Don't forget how important you are as well.

Don't try and be Wonder Woman.

Even if you can do it all, it doesn't all have to be done in one day! 

Enjoy the little moments. They go fast.

Take other peoples opinions as a grain of salt. 

Lets face it people are judgmental. Its just in our make-up.

I have been hurt plenty of times by this but at the end of the day,

I have to remind myself not to let others bother me.

Not to brag, but. I am a freaking AWESOME mother!

My boys are well taken care of much more ahead of myself and 

I would do anything in he world for them. 

They are if nothing else I have ever done, the one thing in my life 

I know I do right by. No one can change this. 

No one has a right to tell me otherwise.

Always stand up for yourself and never let people run you over. 

Stay strong and find comfort and guidance from those who 

encourage and support you 100%!!

There is no other job in the world as important as 

raising a child. Remind yourself your remarkable.

Ashley 

From one babe to two

No one really tells you how crazy things get when you have baby number 2.

Not that I thought it would be easy. 

I knew it would be hard and the last few weeks up until I had Aidan 

I was terrified. 

Questioning if I could really do this. 

Can I handle a toddler and a newborn?

Still take care of the house and all my mommy duties?

How would I still give Clayton the attention he needs and 

tend to a newborn who will constantly want to be nursed and held. 

Well here we are and little guy is already 6 weeks old.

It has flown by so fast. 

Don't get me wrong. I am beyond exhausted.

 Getting less than 5 hours of sleep a night can definitely take a toll on you. 

Not to mention I have had to cut out all caffeine and sodas. 

My little guy has a very sensitive tummy and so it has been a 

process of elimination to help us with nursing. 

Clayton is such a proud big brother and 

can't give his little brother enough cuddles and lovin'.

Talk about melting your heart.

I am hoping to get back to blogging regularly again.

I miss my outlet. Things have just been so busy. 

Thankfully my house is not falling apart. 

Actually I feel the complete opposite. 

I have never felt more complete. 

My house may not be near as clean as I would like it, 

but I have more important things to do. 

I would rather cuddle my littles and play with cars all day.

Hope you guys are ready for some crazy post.

Things here really are a beautiful chaos!

Ashley