Friday, May 17, 2013

I'm not cut out for this

Ever have those days where you are a complete wreck?
Where everything around you feels like it is going to fall apart,
including yourself?

Well that was my day.
I literally stopped and told myself, I cant do this!

I know I can and I do it daily. 
Today though I just didn't know that I would make it thru.

My almost 2 year old was a terror today. 
I think he woke up saying I am going to make mom's day awful. 
He wouldn't listen to anything I asked. 
He wouldn't eat anything I made for him.
He wouldn't nap at all. 
He cried more than my newborn for no reason.
Or I guess he had many reasons... The light was on. The light was off.
His cup was sitting on the table. His cup was on the floor. 
The dog ate the food he threw on the floor. 
He had food on his plate and wanted it on the floor.

All things that normally aren't a problem but today they were.

Then in the midst of all of this my 7 week old is going thru a 
growth spurt and wanted to nurse ever hour on the hour. 
Be held all day. (Thank God for my sling)
And cried anytime his brother would start crying... So all day.

Day's like today make the thought of Peaceful parenting a far away thought.
Then I find myself asking how do people make this look so easy.
Then I feel horrible thinking that I just can't do this. 

I love being with my boys but days like today would make anyone go a little nuts. 

Then just a few minutes in my quite place with my thoughts and prayers brings
it all back to me. Why I do this. How much Joy it does bring me. 

The cuddles from my toddler before bed as he tells me, 
he loves me!
The beautiful bright babies eyes that look at me with such awe.
The gummy smiles he gives me as he holds tight to me. 

I make it thru these crazy days for them. Because of them. 
and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Even crying and throwing fits. They are beautiful. 
They are my blessing.


Proverbs 31:28

New King James Version (NKJV)

 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:


Ashley 

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