Monday, February 20, 2012

A Mother's Love

It is so hard as a mother to admit or actually say that you feel like you aren't doing everything right?
I worry constantly that I am not giving my son everything he needs. That I am going to do something wrong that keeps him from developing right. That I am making him to clingy or needy. That I am going to make him a wimp or scare him from being who he really wants to be.

Let's all be honest being a parent is scary and no matter how much we do there is always going to be that little voice in the back of our heads telling us that we could be doing better. After all I want the very best for my son and I want to make sure that I give him every chance that I can for him to be the best!

Here are somethings that terrify me about parenting:

  1. That I am going to push him to hard and push him away. 
  2. That he won't be able to come to me and I will be to strict of a parent.
  3. That I won't be strict enough and will be to much of a friend.
  4. I will push him to hard and push him away.
  5. That I will be judgmental of who he really is and wants to be.
  6. That I won't teach him everything he needs to know about life.
  7. As he gets older he will be to cool for his momma.
  8. He will grow up and decide he doesn't want anything to do with me. 
  9. That he will get hurt and I won't be able to stop it.
  10. The thought of anything bad happening to him terrifies me to no end.

I know everyone probably has these fears, but I worry that I won't see them happening and that I won't be able to do anything about it.

Being a parent is the scariest, most amazing thing I have every done in my life. The love I have for that little guy is like nothing I have every experienced before and it amazes me daily. 

But what if I am doing this all wrong. What if I am missing something. I mean I do everything I can to try and keep him safe, happy and healthy. To show him my love and affection. Try and make sure he is getting what he needs to develop right and to get the nutrients he needs to grow up strong and healthy.

So what is the true answer to being a good parent? Showing them love and to appreciate everything in life. After all without love who are we right? It's the little things and I want to be able to show him those little things. You know the one's from your childhood that you look back on and smile. The one's that really stand out that your parents will be there no matter what. 

I want the best for my son and I want him to know that I will always be there for him. The rock that he can always lean on. The shoulder that is there if he ever needs it. I want for my son to be able to talk to me about anything. (No matter how un-cool his friends would think he was, we wouldn't ever have to tell them!) 

I want to be the parent that he know he can always come to. The kind that never judges and just gives enough advice for him to listen and not for me to push him away. 

We Loved You before we even held you!

When we held you we Loved you even more!!!

"My Son,
 My Wish for you is to live everyday to the fullest. Love with all of your heart everything you do. Know that your father and I love you more than words could every express and we will always be here for you. Enjoy all you do and never do anything that you will regret, but if you do learn from it and allow it to make you a stronger person! Always stay true to what you believe in and never let anyone steer you away from that. Be a person you want to see when you look in the mirror. Enjoy the little things in life because they are what are important. Most of all know I have always and will always love you. I am always here and always will be your biggest supporter, fan, friend and person you can turn to no matter what. I love you my son and hope that I show you that EVERYDAY of your life!
Your Momma"

Until Next Time,
<3 Ashley

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